I don't feel like typing the rest of the things that happened in my retreat right now, because I'm sick, but I'll type one last thing about what happened in my second day at Caliraya.

Ptr. Nathan Leigh taught us about self-image, and how self-esteem can kill us spiritually. I found out from his session that all of this time, especially during the previous school year, I have been controlled by what others thought, especially of those of my classmates who've made me feel very inferior. Now, I'm dealing with it because I've found out that only what God thinks of me matters most. Let me quote this quote before it disappears in the today's quote portion of my blog:

“Cure yourself of the condition of bothering about how you look to other people. Be concerned only . . . with the idea God has of you.”

—Miguel de Unamuno

And how I wish I had gone to the Jzone website before I went to camp. Quoting from the corner stone, it says, "To not do something out of fear of failure... is worse than failure itself." I wish I stepped out of my comfort zone and tried to talk a bit more to those who talked to me during the camp. Bitin kasi 'yung mga pinagsasasabi ko, e.

Overhaul

Seven days ago, I went on a Jzone boys' camp entitled "Overhaul" at the Caliraya Re-creation Center in Laguna. As a first-timer, I did a couple of things that I didn't expect to do for my first retreat, namely being in the registration team and prompting with the music team. Compared to the others who juggled three, four, or ten ministries, what I did was nothing to be proud about, but I still praise God that I got the chance to do something a bit more to help in the retreat than just exist there. Here's what happened during the four days.

Day 1:
I volunteered to be with the registration team, so I had to wake up earlier than the other boys. I had no clue on what to do with the team. I did know what to do the few hours we were about to register people, but I was lacking sleep, so I lacked the alertness I needed. I even made a mistake with first guy who came to me-- I gave his brother's name tag, not his. :P But I was grateful that I did most of the job OK until Gian sent me to the Valley theater to practice prompting with the music team.

I went to the Valley theater with fellow prompter JP. They music team was about to start when I arrived. We were informed that orientation was to start after registration, kung saan lang ako kagagaling. I feared that I'm going to miss the orientation, especially that I was a first-timer, pero buti na lang sa Valley Theater ginanap 'yung orientation. Buti na lang! So after the orientation, the first session took place, when I did my first prompting in Jzone ever, with Nicco and JP, habang naka-pambahay. Rawr.

Day 2:
When I woke up, I went to the Valley Theater to have my first Dawn Watch. So there was praise and worship and the "Lord! Lord! Lord!" When most of the boys had left the theater after praying, I started to follow, too, only to hear the final group prayer when I was already outside. Hahaha.

During breakfast, Gian called me to prompt for the morning session. Weee. Atat na naman ako. So I kept on arriving too early for practice, because my watch was advanced. 'Pag first-timer talaga. Hindi pala, ako lang 'yon. I think that was the start of arriving without my manual to write my notes on.

And then there was finger Math! Rawr, another proof that my Math aptitude decreased. JP was my partner and he kept on winning against me, but he said he didn't want to go to the stage if ever he reached the finals so he just sat. Hihihi. Our dgroupmate Josh almost won. Rawr.

The boys had two organized games for free time, obstacle course and earth ball. I seriously wanted not to play any game, especially that they talked about playing the cancelled agawan base with water balloons, because I had my rarely-used camera with me. Luis volunteered to take care of it for me, so I was forced to join the games. Kinarir, or should I say, kinar ko 'yung obstacle course when it was my turn, and the people watching shouted, "Go, Angel (my sister)!" which Francis later asked for forgiveness. It's funny, because my full first name is Samuel Angelo. I am technically an Angel, so the cheer must have helped. We won the obstacle course 1st place, especially when we prayed before we played. :P We did pray for the earth ball, but we lost. The wind blew against us, and so the earth ball kept dropping on our side. We lost. Our God is a funny God. :)) What was funny was that I just kept on chasing the ball, not really touching it much. Kulang na lang, dala ko camera ko para makunan ko 'yung earth ball in the player's pont of view.

After the games, it was officially free time. At first, I just watched boys play volleyball because we were too lazy to climb all the way up to our rooms. Gian kept on inviting me to play volleyball, but I kept on refusing, because I can't forget the time that I was the laughingstock at school for dodging the ball. So I went for ultimate frisbee instead. We won, but I didn't make very significant pulls or throws. So I later watched the volleyball game again, and Gian insisted, "Sam, sali ka!" "Sure?" I asked. "(Laughs) Of course. It's like salvation." And when I had hit the ball, I instantly heard that it was a nice shot. Praise God!

Hanggang dito na lang muna. Later!

Hooked/Blog Birthday

Yesterday (yep, it's pretty late), we had a small presentation for my dad's 50th birthday. I sang Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. I feel so bad that my performance was very half-baked, because we only rehearsed that same day. The arrangement's pretty low, knowing that I could still go a bit higher, because we're using the original one, meaning I have to sing as high as Natasha so that I could go higher. I feel guilty right now that I could have done better. I pondered on this thought when I read the comments of a couple of guys in YouTube on a Prince of Tennis episode (in which I'm currently hooked). They said that their parents don't understand that anime is their life, that they got reprimanded for spending lots of time watching Prince of Tennis. I suddenly thought that I could have done more with my performance if I didn't get myself hooked on such a cool anime, that I could be starting learning Spanish already. So staring today, I vow to decrease my Prince of Tennis viewing into at least two episodes per day. I especially need to have quiet time with God, too. As for the couple of guys who said anime is their life, they're pathetic.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GOING UNDER MY SKIN! Hahaha. I wish I could post a Photoshopped picture or something for my baby's first birthday. I just noticed that my blog's birthday coincided with April Fool's Day. I was upset that time because the best April Fool joke yet was given to me by the BoAjjang Forums. However, what I didn't know before was that there was a mob already in that community, because one of the moderators sold the forum for $50,000 without telling the other moderators. Or it was just a joke. It really got me confused. Well, I wish the forum the best for this blog's birthday. Hehe.